Friday, May 26, 2006

homeless jobless hopeful


So I get these compulsive itches to write sometimes, when I'm stirred to do so...

What a month so far...packed the life up in the Camry, left it in San Diego with the uncles, enjoyed a little lushing around in that fine city and then homeward bound. Hung with mom in Austin for a couple hours and then on to San Antonio to meet my dog! She is really so very sweet and I'm in love. Then drove back to Austin, good catch-up time with Rebecca, saw Tim @ Rain, then back to SA where, for whatever reason, I decided to go ahead and move to the outside bedroom (separate from the house) which has turned out to be this great retreat, all of mom's paintings, great bed, stone shower...ahhhh. So that's been nice, I'm still finishing up projects with FUSION long distance but I hope to get them done this week.

Did some choreo for ADTS for summer workshops and I'm happy with what's been produced so far. The pieces seemed to come easier this time, so I think that's a good sign. So far I did a Mashup of Arctic Monkeys/Blu Cantrell/Sean Paul, Beth Hart's "Hiding Under Water," and a hip hop mix. This week I've gotta finish Prince's "Black Sweat" and Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek" (the Alanna good-for-the-kiddies version, wherein I cut out the word "hell". Yeah.)

Am sitting in Austin right now--let's work this backwards. I am recovering from a hangover with iced coffee and went running on Town Lake before that, because before that, I spent a final night in Austin out with Kel and Lane, with a few special guests thrown in. Thankfully got to see Jess, Jen, and Sarah. And some randoms, one of whom told me he'd kick S*******'s ass and act as a bounty hunter...to quote Steven, the friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend, "He's VERY easy to find." Whatever. Closed that chapter and am spending all my earnings paying for it.

Which on a daily basis leads me to question what I DO have, if what I don't have is ample savings or the love of my life yet. And Kelly reminded me (even though others in my life have said and meant the same sincerely) that once I am settled, things will come. I'm incredibly tentative and am without a home/roomates/job/stability/love life but those things don't need to surface while I'm in transit. By tomorrow morning, or let's say Monday even, I will have changed cities ten times since being in TX. So yeah, let's work on settling myself before settling down. Elizabeth will back me up on it, but I'm not first wave, probably not second, maybe not even the mini-wave after second but before third...if that didn't make sense, ask and I'll happily explain :)

And I need to leave room for how excited I am for weddings: my cousins Sarah and Mary Jackson and MINA!!! While the first two receptions will be in the Baton Rouge Country Club (multiple open bars, Vera Wang, yatta yatta) the third is in New Orleans. Forget having a relationship with a man right now; dealing with that city will be emotional enough! I haven't seen it since...I guess last year? I'm not ready to see my city broken. I took these fantastic pictures last time I was there, but fantastic because they were what my eyes saw, not necessarily artfully-purposed or whatever.

It's just amazing that on June 3rd, I will watch a person who seems like part of my own soul commit more than a lifetime of love to a man she deserves, in a city that I want to embrace, in a dress that means LA to me...sorry, just sorta stream of mind right now...and all of this will culminate, and I will be alone, but more fulfilled than ever. And that will be the emotional point of my summer, and then I will slowly regain focus and my energy will fan out and cover too many things at once, like usual, and I will curse at city traffic and overcaffeinate myself, and I will move and shake with a new and renewed resolve.

What an exciting time. How many hidden blessings can one person have?

And I'll know him when I meet him.

I love my friends.

-A

Friday, May 05, 2006


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Oh my goodness. And so it draws to a close.

Right now, I'm sitting here thinking about where to go and what to do--literally. Ally and I are heading over to the UTLA center for some late-night work (I know, I know, it's 1am) and I might choreograph a little. Because I'm absolutely inspired! I found a site with mega free downloads of artist mashes and one solid 22min Coachella montage--Massive Attack, Matisyahu, Depeche Mode, Scissor Sisters, She Wants Revenge, TOOL, Gnarls Barkley, so many more. That was amazing--major thanks to Catherine for supplying free tix to Sunday's coachella show (Madonna...free? Come on!!! Actually what made my day was blissing out to Massive Attack at dusk laying down in the clean clean grass, hoodie over my head, staring at the sky, lights and palm tree silhouettes. mmmm..... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .



So there it is. I'm ready to be done with school--pitched my feature film today for our final project and was actually really happy with results. Phil asked me if I wanted to pitch it to HBO or Showtime; told me what I'd need to do if I wanted to go forward. It's a thought. As usual, it's the typical Alanna-is-fond-of-depressing-subject-matter-themed-film. Won't leave you happy, folks, but that's not what I'm in the business of doing, at least not through art. I want to affect, not sedate. Won't catch me being anyone's opiate. Not unless you ask nicely.

This is what I've learned after being here so briefly (yeah I know I'm heading right back but whatever):
-love you all at home. Actually want to spend time and get to know some of you even better...
-I'm a failure at dating. Or at being asked to go on them...No worries--for the first time, I actually like me. I know I will be wonderful for someone. I don't mean someone will be lucky to have me; I mean I will make it my life-effort to be the joy and relief and support and diversion for some guy--he won't see it coming but I will be outstanding.
-need...dog...need...dog...need...puppy? Puppies turn into dogs.
-Always watch your phone etiquette--you never want to leave someone with the wrong impression. Only a few of you know what I mean, but ask if interested.
-I can't wait to dance myself to sleep.
-I love Mina and Gen and my fam and Rebecca and Leeanne and Ginger and rousta-fam and SA friends and more...
-My phone is almost is fun as a pet. Should I glue fur on it?
-I LOVE with my HEART my roomies.
-You know what doesn't come in apts here? Refrigerators, central air, parking spots, or free boyfriends.
-Kombucha is the BEST thing a human being can drink. Ask me (or find @ Whole foods)
-Since I know you all keep up with the latest pop opera artists from Bulgaria, we are doing a show next week @ the Kodak www.krassimir.com
check it check it check it

please love and call me. sorry; at my wits' end at the moment, like i said GOING to school on a thursday night @ 1am.

peace dudes...

-Alanna
**Oh, and most people, i.e. working professionals in LA, can't spell. Nor can they punctuate. I want to fix them with my prissy lil' attitude but they'd all kick my ass. College degree? Only special if it's designer or has boobs on it.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting