par*site

i am feeling so down and sick and kinda low.

so much i want to tackle with my own life and organization and feel 300 percent drained lately. and resorting to lower tactics.

ugh

get me out of this

christmas??

i am the holiday cheerleader.

Ahoy. Here I am, pleasant Sunday night--capping off a really wonderful day spent sleeping, watching football, brunch, trip up to Malibu (R.I.P. multimillion dollar homes and hills of the rich and famously coastal), domestic recreation, cooking, truffles, work, booking flights home for christmas, new sweatpant-wearing, and about 70 episodes of Law and Order (what? it's always on!)--and i'm really happy. Don't know if it's because i'm finally feeling in control of things, or in control of personal things, but i'll take it either way. noticed that other than a recent september blog, i haven't kept up with this during the past YEAR so i need to, even if no one ever reads this (a likely scenario). i need to reflect and wax sentimental because i need to. and the holidays are upon us, which more than anything means, to me, family, clinging to inside warm temperatures to dodge the cold, time spent with old friends, and sensory overload. the past year has gone as follows--job eats my life, i love my job, therefore i accept the job and know how much opportunity it affords me. which is certainly at the expense of time spent with friends, doing nothing, and keeping up with personal affairs, but it's my job to learn balance, and teeter-totter i shall. pictures attached chronicle my lovely roomate, my dreamy neighbor, good friends, my boss' dog, hollywood friends and combinations of those elements. all that's grinding my (seasonally) cranberry/pinetree-scented jingle gears is: -my credit -my desire to finance new car, severely impaired by credit -my inability to hang my damn clothes up -my deficient alacrity to keep in touch with non-LA friends. and even those who are here. all of the above are a work in progress. oh and i love the time between halloween and february 14th like nobodies business, so dangit if i'm not SUPER FREAKIN CHIPPER lately! love your favorite elf

Advert Nauseum

ohhhhhh my goodness it's been a while

Not sure really why I'm blogging again but something in me really wants to get out?
Jesus that sounds violent.

Life here in Hollylikewood is not really even in Hollywood. Let's be honest folks. If we say we live there we actually live in this amorphous blob of GoogleEarth called the west side, or in a "beach city" if you're lucky. And thus I consider myself really really lucky. I love, more than anything, coming home to my apartment and...well, just coming home to my apartment. After the mess that was my previous two living areas after the Oakwoods (D111 will live on in an infamy never to be experienced again!), i.e. the debaucle of living in a converted garage, and the misery of an expensive apartment "near the Grove" but actually nearer to Wilshire and Walgreens, this is heaven! I love everyone in my building and actual laugh tracks can be heard when any one of the colorful neighbor-characters walk in my front door.

I have a beautiful wonderful roomate, Melissa, and she knows my job and life inside and out. Really helps. And she's a great cook. And is awesome.

Mostly though, it's work. I am SOOOOOOOO SICCKKKK and tired of telling people that I'm inundated with work, consumed with work, "slammed at work" is my downright favorite for things I hate to hear coming out my mouth. But yeah, I am work's bitch these days.

A few exciting things to come this fall, going to Virginia later in October and back to TX in November to teach workshops. Honestly I've been really emotional lately about not dancing as much. Like as in I bawl and sob and cry when I watch performance. Telling, no?

I suppose part of being "out here" is the compulsion to compartmentalize EvErYtHiNg into work-friends-love-family-finances-??? or into packets that are easily dealt with one at a time, when you have a "moment" free from work. Because of course work trumps all. blech.

I need to write more. Or something. Need to vent, need to articulate, need to spell words other than:
pls
thx
unfort
avail
best
pls find attached
pls fwd

Those are the only ways in which I am now brainwashed to communicate with people. I can ask you to perform menail tasks like fwding and attaching, I can beg or thank you for your time, I can send a halfhearted "sorry we can't" and send my lukewarm greetings that I really and truly send YOU my BEST. whatever the frick that means.

Best,
Alanna