So it's almost April 2008 and this is what's been going on and on and on:
Work is good and silly. Peaks and valleys but I've gotta get it out of my head to take things personally and let them wear on my sanity. Always comes down to...best opportunity I'll ever be afforded at this age for career and anything that continues to be this challenging is worth it. Trying to learn...actually hardest part right now is working alone but that's what I get for getting into this. It gets rather lonely and I find myself really wanting to interact. I'm home base and everyone else comes and goes, so I try to keep excited and self motivated by watching the product of all this, and the tiny part I have to play in all of it, play out globally. Etc.
Since taking step one at reclaiming parts of life that I'd let fall by the wayside, step one being visiting the family in Baton Rouge, the next step that needed to kickstart and remain in play was the health/diet. I've adopted the Abs Diet plan for eating and it's been working really well actually--everything they advise to include are my favorites anyway. In some silly way this is my control and what I get to decide during my day--6 small meals and adding the strength training in. I make it a priority that no one is going to ruin that plan. As it is, too many parts of my life/time/heart/money have been trampled upon and so no more of this wasteful victim shit. I'm stronger than that and this is one way of putting that into practice. So that's been feeling better, and I'm incorporating good ole DANCE back in--CHRIST that was my LIFE and I cannot believe how things have turned out. It's for the better but WOW. I really need step two in this to be--once the body feels mechanical again in the way it should--setting some pieces that I have on my mind. And I need to see Mina more than I can say.
So for me, if my fitness and working out and not being a fat useless slob are taken care of, I tend to perform better all around. I move forward next to...finances.
They are getting better, am saving 4 figure amounts at a time and am paying off debt in large chunks while financing the car. It's my pride and joy at times and I don't need anyone's validation to feel proud of myself. I just do. It was a big step even though it was hard to let the Camry go. Ok that's a lie--it did nothing short of committing full on suicide and it hated LA. RIP.
Next comes relationships--I think because of the moving around and feeling these things over and over:
loss of old home and friends and lifestyle
fear
who will be my friend
who do i need to be to get friends
i got them...
but i guess i didn't need to try that hard anyway, to keep the good ones around that matter.
...
What, we're moving AGAIN??
I'm realizing through phenomena such as facebook that people are locatable and playing the voyeur becomes a bit boring--people post how they feel, where they travel, parties, weddings/births...and I'm happy for them, but have people around me who I can see in real life, so back to that--I will be incorporating more time in the old sked for Stephanie, UTLA folks, dance friends, Allen, and misc. kids all over this horizontal gotham. Trying!
**Note--whenever I find it difficult to carry on with said "lifestyle changes for the better," i notice that one of them is a stress upon the other, i.e. working out getting in the way of socializing, socializing getting in the way of keeping up with projects...but no shit. Everyone deals with this. Am I five years old and just now realizing that life is a balancing act and not automatic?
More on these topics soon--gotta go:
pop culture
culture a bit more obscure
love (as a general sentiment, as something I want, as a commodity, as necessary but as very very hard to control)
politics and the world (small and minor topic best discussed herein as a mess)
sarcasm (see above topic)
puppies...ha
MUSIC
Goodbye.
