hidey ho. sitting here watching the tail end of the oscars---crash is best picture. if nothing else (b/c i wouldn't necessarily have picked it for craftsmanship) i'm happier about the messages that are supported by the champions of mainstream cinema (i.e. DISCUSSION of racism, heterosexism, even sexism--more women among the nominees for producer and director credits). doesn't mean we're even close to fixing these things as a society. if i can it's my life's conviction to confront and work through things, and there is a lot of work to be done.
so from that, i can segue into talking about how i did work on my thesis finally in the car on the way home from big bear (if you don't know what my thesis is about and want to, ask). which lets me talk about big bear! so much more fun than my first treacherous day at angelfire, which in the end was great as well. so we drive to big bear early saturday, about 2 hrs east of LA, we went straight to the mountain, got our skis, shuttled over, and got to skiing. i didn't fall once this weekend! but someone did and we love her very much and are proud of her :)
and it's not cool, apparently, to SKI in cali--75%, if not more, of young people were boarding, so i'm dying to try it. we had a kickass time, checked into the hotel sat. night, took a roomate nap (so nice) and found dinner at this divey place called mandarin garden. met up with the UTLA crew at a bar later, and i had a well-deserved drink. i say this b/c i feel like ive been dieting like crazy and working out every chance i get, so it felt nice to have a drink for the sake of it.
sunday was great as well, and now we're home about to watch annie hall. i can't say it enough, i love my roomates. at mandarin garden on saturday we had a little bonding and i basically said that i'm desperate to hear someone say they love me--when i hear it from my parents in person, i guess in may, i'm going to break down. don't know why, and i'm not a whiny pathetic complainer, but it's just been a while, and i'm so desperate to know what and if i mean to people--i want to be meaningful and i want to work harder at developing and maintaining things i start with people. as hard as the truth is to grasp, there's no guy, no romance, but there is family and friends both here and in tx/louisiana who LOVE me and aren't afraid to say it. once i was very afraid to say it to my family, for some tougher deeper reasons, but why would i abandon a chance to do that?.....sorry just stream of consciousness.
i was telling rachel that i'm a very tactile person and when i dream or fantasize, its all completely about touch and being held or comforted or whatever. which leads me to create an addendum to the requirements of what i need in a man:
--must present me at the APPROPRIATE time with new puppy.
--must enjoy trying out new hotels.
--must not berate me for my new food habits.
--must be approved by my friends and family in a genuine way.
he's out there; he's just busy. and so am i but as you know, i love it! this week is gonna be a blur, so that i can finally arrive at saturday morning, when i will catch a plane at 6am to san francisco and take a train to san mateo for work, then to fresno, then to pick up adare monday. i cannot wait to see her. oh and andrea--you are a desirable SMART sexy as hell woman and i will make it my mission for you to see that independent of *******.
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