i think this was the first time i've cried since i've been out here; maybe that's an accomplishment? showers are good for hiding that sort of thing, but you can't hide forever.
maybe it's that tomorrow is a 12hr workday, and maybe it's that i'm feeling helpless with finances and life decisions and me in general, and maybe it's that i had too much time on my hands. whatever it was, i did not love myself today and i'll leave it at that. but no one else did until rachel said so, and andrea did too, and reminded me that they love me...i hadn't heard that from anyone in a long time, not even mom or dad or adare or other friends and that was sitting very heavy on my heart.
hopefully i can follow through and actually write an email update to people, even if just to hit the high points. i truly do hope everyone is happy back home (home?) and that i can get better at staying in touch. adieu...
1 comment:
There's no crying in the "real world"! Just kidding...cry your eyes out. And when the tears stop coming and your eyes are all puffy and your head aches from it all...scream and shout and do all those other overly emotive things. Then get the giggles because if anyone had been watching you throughout your little tantrum, they would think you were insane. So laugh until your stomach hurts. (But hopefully this doesn't trigger more crying!)
For some reason, if you let yourself be "weak" and just let it go, things seem so much better afterwards.
Oh and when you're all done...think about how many people here in Austin (ME!!!) love and appreciate you. Even if we don't say it enough.
Love and miss you!
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